In the future we'll all be gay
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
