its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
