Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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