You don't have asthma, your pregnant
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
