Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
All the doctor said was why
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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