hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
