i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
