Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
