Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
