i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
