you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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