I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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