Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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