I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
