"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
