you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
