What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
