Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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