I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
