this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
