bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
