Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
