left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
