he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Can I color on your dick again?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
