garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Randomize
