just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I think my moral compass just broke
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