These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
