This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
