Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
The struggles of a small town man whore
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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