I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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