It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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