What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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