I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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