my mouth tastes like poor choices
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
