remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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