last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
