Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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