ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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