Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
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