Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I'm too high and old for this...
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
