I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
