She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
that's an acceptable place to lick
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
