True but thats because hes a fetus.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
