Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
