Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
