yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Your mouth is God's brothel.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Randomize
