he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
