So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
you had me at cake vodka
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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