i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
All the doctor said was why
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
