It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
