I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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