yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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