I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
