I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
